Ghost Train RadioTelevangelist Max Grifter
Instead of doing a haunted grandfather clock, I’m going to have the rat faced git clown puppet star as Televangelist Max Grifter. His “pitch” is that if you don’t immediately send him $666 and join his elite “Make America Grate Again” club at the Presidential True Patriot Level of giving, you’ll not reap Gods Great Harvest. For poor people (whom he refers to as The Meek), he will take 6 Monthly Payments on your Credit Card or electronic funds transfer. Payday loan advances are fine. His “nervous tick” is that he points to this clock and nervously says “Run, don’t walk, times running out, won’t you Make Time For Jesus?”……
America is now full on Idiocracy and The Church of the Subgenius combined. Step Right Up!
Ghost Train Radio 
You know what they can do if they can’t take a joke.
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Seriously, the news has been way more bizarre than this book. Also, I could have said this clock is a prop for a televangelist con man.
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