Synthesizer Love

I don’t remember exactly what Roland sythesizer I had in 1986 or so but it wasn’t their flagship top of the line but one a notch or two below.

The big problem was the time I spent programming its sounds took away from the time I should have been practicing and learning music theory.

A year ago I used FL Digi on this silly little Tablet to record a tiny song. I did use a tiny Zoom stereo mic to record the stick dulcimer.

Lately I’ve s started writing using synth emulations by Arturia in Cubase and I’m finally able to use synthesizers as real instruments instead of as a crutch.

Antique Color

Fallen leaves
Broken dreams
All that's left
Is antique color


Fleeting moments
Bus goes by
Two Page Girls 
Catches his eyes

On the right
Small child stares
At the man's
White shirt glare

Did this happen
In a dream?
Passing bus
Passing scene

Anna Lynn’s Man

He knew 
She didn't care
It shows within
Her stare

Digitizing An Analogue Life

One of the coolest things that has happened in my lifetime (especially as a Data Architect and Database Guru) is the confluence of the digital and analogue.

16 TB for $379.95 – that’s really amazing!

Emotionally I am 100% analogue – old school – old soul – rust and patina. Intellectually I’m 100% digital – how to fit an entire life on a small SSD (Solid State Drive) – a.k.a. “disk drive”.

Sound wise – Arturia has opened up the absolute most amazing digitized version of an analogue life. You can have all of the fat analogue sounds – warm and so pleasing to the ear – but in a digital format.

My favorite keyboard controller of all time – with Arturia’s Keylab and V Collection 9 packages

Now – “sight wise” – photography has been revolutionized by Fujifilm – with their digitized film simulations of old analogue film. I can get a gorgeous warm old analogue look and feel with digital. Hence:

Notice the analogue film controls – just brilliant

I applaud young people who think they want to try their hand at olde worlde film processing – but sorry kids – its messy, toxic and a big waste of your time. Oh – don’t forget Gimp and RAW Therapee – fantastic FREE open source digital photo lab software – easily as good as any expensive Adobe product(s).

I’ve lived through the “messy” and “space wasting” world of analogue – between toxic chemical photo processes and owning way too many big bulky analogue synthesizers in the 80’s – you can have all that jazz. I much prefer the new digital representation of an analogue life. Not only is it neater, cleaner and greatly space saving – if you were to only be allowed one carry on piece of luggage on that space ship to Mars – you could fit your whole life in one small bag.

Introspection: Self Portrait, 1991

Large Format Self Portrait (with Graphic View 4 x 5 camera), Pt. Reyes, 1991

In 1991 I was back from London and had decided with my ex wife to start a family vs. being a very successful Road Warrior. I don’t have any regrets, but certainly wondered about that decision after my ex wife filed for divorce years later.

I fell in love with sea kayaking at Pt. Reyes

My ex wife was pregnant with our first and we stayed a long weekend at a house in Marshall, at Pt. Reyes. I started sea kayaking and loved it. That was about July of 1991, and Graham was born that October, the day of the massive Oakland Hills Fire.

Sitting by the dock of the bay …..

I do remember realizing that that was the “calm before the storm”, and as it turned out it was so much more than I ever bargained for.

The Road Ahead

The Very Serious Artiste Himself

I love creepy old junk. I have a virtual gallery here:

Most of it is pure crap, and I have less of a “hit rate” than my music. I figure one in five – or 20% of my songs would be worth bringing into a band practice studio for consideration.

Man Ray is a huge influence of mine

I’m going through the painful process of saying goodbye to my old junk art pieces. I’ll start giving them away soon. But I will photograph everything – since digital photographs are the perfect way to bring my old art where a removable SSD backup drive with my life’s work fits on one that can be put in a pocket. I have three backup drives in case one fails.

One of my better Assemblage pieces

We simply don’t want to bring a ton of stuff with us. I guess the stuff might not be hard to leave behind. Maybe its more knowing the last wonderful 17 years are over.

But while I do like to reminisce, I’ve always been forward looking – so its time to get excited by the Road Ahead.

A Sense of Place

Paris, 1989
Its your sixth sense
A sense of place
And what you do
In that space

When you walk
Down that street
Do you tingle
In your feet

If you feel
Like walking on air
Then your right place
Is truly there

My name Holoch means “high glen or glade”. The Holoch family is from Stuttgart and most were farmers, many were vintners in and around the hills of Baden-Wuerttemberg.

I grew up in the Appalachians of New Jersey. It was hilly and beautiful. I went to college in beautiful Pennsylvania. The first time I went to Oregon I felt home. More than I ever did in California, but I still love California.

I have long lost relatives in Oregon. All Holoch’s are related.

There is just something very special about Oregon. I am looking forward to moving there, but will say a loving goodbye to California – as I’m eternally thankful for so many years here.

On Leaving

London, 1989
Wherever you go
There you are
Home is where your heart roams
Now get back in the car!

I have been lucky that only a few times in my life I felt the need that I just had to get away from the place that I lived. Only one – Rochester, NY was a place where I felt if I stayed I would be trapped in a place that I hated. Even there I did like going to Scorgies Nightclub on the weekend and Letchworth State Park was very nice. I suppose if I spent most of my weekends in the Finger Lakes it would have been a lot better.

When I moved from San Francisco to Lafayette – it was by choice – and I was leaving a place that I loved at one time but life changed the situation and it was time to move. Even my divorce – where I felt I just couldn’t stay in Lafayette and had to move to Orinda was also my choice and where I had control.

The move from Orinda to Bend is a very happy affair – but where I am taking time to revere and revel in the time I had here. I am not in a super hurry – which really surprises me because in the past – when I was ready to move, that was it – I was in a hell fire hurry.

When I moved from Newton, NJ, I actually did not want to move to California. I had visited my parents in their new house in Pleasanton – and I just didn’t like Pleasanton – for a young man of about 20 – it seemed like that place where you go to coach kids soccer – and I would have none of that. Funny thing – when I moved to Lafayette, guess what? I coached kids soccer!

This time around my wife and I want to move because we fell in love with Bend 15 or 16 years ago – and its been our dream. But the great thing is – every time we returned back to Orinda – we both said “You know, this is a pretty great place to live”.

Now that’s what I call success – all the money in the world can’t buy this . . .

On another note – today is my one year anniversary of having my first knee replaced. My how time flies.

Moons of May

Self Portrait, SW-10 London, 1989

Yesterday I walked 3 miles in just over 1 hour. My best time – (before my knees went bad) was about 50 minutes. Almost exactly a year ago I had my first knee replaced. It was hard – because I had babied my knee and scar tissue formed – making my recovery frustratingly and painfully slow.

In January I had my second knee replaced and it went so much faster and smoother than the first. I powered through the physical therapy – pushing myself up to about where I should without being too cavalier – but also avoiding that scar tissue forming. Live and learn.

As we prepare to leave this wonderful old house next to the creek – in a town that has been very good to me and for me – I’m sitting at my recording studio desk where a bed used to be and where I was sleeping after recovering from that first knee surgery. Funny how the ghost of me was here, and in an even more surrealistic occurrence – I looked out the window at 5:30 AM -ish o’clock and saw the moon:

Moon Phase for Thursday May 4th, 2023
The current moon phase for today is the Waxing Gibbous phase.
On this day, the moon is 13.83 days old and 96.61% illuminated with a tilt of 189.679°. The approximate distance from Earth to the moon is 387,819.05 km and the moon sign is Libra.

A year ago – and in this room – high on opioids (Oxycodone) I had this wonderfully weird dream – that I was in Green or Hyde Park London – and there was an icicle train floating above ground – with the moonlight shining on it. Out of the locomotive came little puffs of icy fog – that looked like steam. I was living in Victorian London. It just happened to be the full moon of May – and during that night it got quite chilly – after it had been on the warmer side. We are going through that same thing right now – as I type this – a late winter storm – not much rain – but chillier than it had been a few weeks ago.

I have to say (on an editorial note) – I have absolutely NO idea why anyone would want to take opioids or anything related. They are downers, make you “nod off” – and while yes – they relax you and make your pain go away – they also make you constipated. I feel very sorry for anyone who gets hooked on these. They are downers and they really drag you down. I remember after that really great dream that I just stopped taking them and put up with the pain. I’ve lived my whole life being careful about alcohol – enjoying it responsibly and even cutting way back to lose these 30 pounds (a little is fine) – but too much is too much – and it makes you fatter than a hog anyway. Ask the ex-hog who knows . . .