Praise The Lard!

Praise The Lard and Pass The Ammo!
Praise the Lard
Pass the ammo
Russian Roulette
Is your gamble

Load that gun
Pull the trigger
Now you feel
So much bigger

Praise the Lard
Church and state
Christian Soldiers
Nationalist hate

Send your money
To the rich
There's nothing left
You stupid bitch

Take up sides
Against ourselves
Hate your brother
Everyone else

Work for evil
Men of greed
Men in power
The devils seed

Money changers
Profits (prophets) of doom
Take your money
Give you gloom

Its too late
You'll never learn
Smell the smoke
As America Burns

Today’s song came about after I wrote the bass line – I wanted it to be sort of punk-ish – and simple blues progression came out – which is somewhat related – since many garage bands first learn very simple blues progressions and repeat them ad nauseum.

I usually get my lyrics ideas from either “current events”, historical events or inventions, nature, or one of my many Assemblage pieces – and today’s is using an Assemblage as my guide. The vocals also begged to be sung as if I were a Televangelist. Hey – I will use this approach again – it infuses comedy in a way that really works well.

The vocals are influenced by listening to Primus do “Jerry Was a Race Car Driver” – which is hilarious – as most Primus songs are.

A Really Big Shoe

Gather round, little darlings
You're too young to know
About Ed Sullivan
And his very fine show

He introduced The Beatles
Of all his guests he would choose
No one else came close
On his "Really Big Shoe"

I was too young to remember
Most of his guests
Except a man spinning plates
On a stick on his chest

Those were the days
The early sixties
I liked the 80's better
When I was in my twenties

Intergalactic Collect Call

Late at night
The message arrived
From Centauri Sector Nine
A chill went up my spine

Through the static crash
I heard a muffled voice
The being on the phone
Shrieked and then moaned

The message then got clear
I heard it with both ears
The voice said in great fear
"We've just run out of beer!"


Theres a town in a dell
That has a methane smell
It's Butler

The town that makes you wheeze
Inhabitants cutting cheese
It's Butler

They didn't vote for Trump
Or his Massive Dumps
It's Butler

They're begging pretty please
To get some stench relief
It's Butler